Making Love and Music
by Andie17
Summary: Spike POV. Buffy was a struggling actress. Spike was trying to make it in the music biz. Both wanted a relationship, neither had the time. COMPLETED
1. Chapter One

Making Love and Music  
  
Summary: Spike POV. Buffy was a struggling actress. Spike was trying to make it in the music biz. Both wanted their relationship to go somewhere, but neither seemed to have the time to put in the effort. Songfic.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy and Spike, yaddah yaddah yaddah. I don't own the song Making Love and Music, either. Man, I suck.  
  
Chapter One  
  
[b]Dear Baby,  
  
I don't really know how to start this. My name is William Windsor. My friends call me Spike. I'm your daddy.  
  
Your mummy and I have been together for two years and one month now. You're growing so fast. Mummy says you're trying to make her fat. She told me she was pregnant only last month and you're due to arrive in just five more months. Your mother and I are so excited. We can't wait for you to get here.  
  
I guess I should tell you about me. Well, at the moment, I'm twenty-six years old. I live in Los Angeles with you mom, Buffy, who's twenty-four. She's an actress and she's really famous. I'm in a band with three of my best mates: Angel, Wesley and Gunn.  
  
I married Mummy six months ago, and it was the happiest day of my life. I guess the best way to tell you about me and Mummy would be to tell you about the first time we met. So, here goes .  
  
[I]I ordered my drink from the bar and waited as the bartender filled my glass with alcohol. I was dressed in a very expensive-looking tuxedo. I was at one of those parties where all the big shots of LA went to meet the newbies of the biz. That was me. One of the newbies.  
  
The bartender handed me my drink and I turned around. I walked right into some poor woman, spilling my cold drink all down the front of her dress; a slinky little black number that guaranteed to get the attention of some people in high places.  
  
To this day, that was the luckiest move I've ever made.  
  
She gasped as the cold liquid soaked to her skin.  
  
"I am so sorry," I assured, quickly taking a napkin off the bar and using it to dry off her front.  
  
"It's alright," she replied tiredly. "I've already met with everyone important anyway." Brushing a hand down her front, she extended the other toward me. "Buffy Summers."  
  
I took her hand, hesitating only a moment before brushing my lips over her knuckles.  
  
"Spike Windsor. Tell me, luv. What is a pretty little thing like you doing in a stuffy place like this?"  
  
She smiled softly.  
  
"I came here hoping to get an agent," she admitted, self-consciously pushing her long, dark blonde hair away from her face. "I'm an actress. You?"  
  
"I am here on a similar quest." I slipped my hand into the pocket of my dress pants. "Looking for someone to represent my band."  
  
Buffy tilted her head.  
  
"Oh? What's the name?"  
  
"Dark Side."  
  
She nodded slowly.  
  
"I like it."  
  
"You know what I would like?"  
  
Her dazzling green eyes studied me coyly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It would make me obscenely happy," I started, "if you would come to see us play."  
  
She paused, considering my offer.  
  
"When?"  
  
"How's next Saturday? Eight o'clock at The Bronze."  
  
She smiled.  
  
"Sounds perfect."  
  
* * * I was on stage, tuning my guitar when she walked into the club and slid onto a stool at one of the few empty tables. I looked up and smiled stupidly at her when she waved. She looked so beautiful.  
  
Angel leaned over his keyboard to my right and nodded at Buffy.  
  
"That her?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah," I said. "That's her alright."  
  
He clapped me on the shoulder.  
  
"Nice."[/I]  
  
I've got to run now. Mummy has a craving.  
  
~Daddy[/b] 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two  
  
[b]Dear Lil Bit,  
  
It's been almost a month since I wrote here last. I've been busy with Mummy. She's five months pregnant now and you've gotten loads bigger.  
  
We just got back from an ultrasound. I saw you. I actually saw you. And I know it's not real manly, but, just between you and me, I almost cried.  
  
I just can't believe how happy I am. I keep trying to figure out what I've done to deserve you and Mum and I just can't figure it out. I've never even met you and I love you so much. I must be the luckiest man in the world.  
  
And guess what?  
  
Mummy just got nominated for an Oscar! Best Actress! I'm so proud of her. She's amazing and she's absolutely glowing. You should see her.  
  
[I]Buffy and I sat at a private table in one of the nicest restaurants in LA. I didn't know how I could afford it. I just knew that Buffy deserved the best, so that's what I would give her, even if it was only our first real date.  
  
The restaurant was dimly lit and the candlelight centered in the middle of the table gave her skin a beautiful glow. She had her golden hair swept back from her face in an elegant knot. Her dress was made of a sparkly silver material that clung to her body in all the right places.  
  
Now, I hate to brag, but I wasn't looking too shabby myself. My dressy pants were navy blue, ironed to perfection. My shirt was a dusty blue-gray and I was tieless, with the first button at my collarbone lying open. My bleached hair had just enough gel in it to look equally styled and careless.  
  
I sipped the expensive Cabernet Sauvignon that I'd allowed Buffy to choose.  
  
"Tell me about yourself," I prompted casually.  
  
She swallowed the steak she'd been chewing.  
  
"Well, I grew up in Sunnydale, this dinky little town about two hours from here. I have a younger sister, Dawn, who's just finishing up her last year of high school there. I came to LA to be an actress."  
  
"And how do you like it so far?"  
  
"LA? It's really . fast-paced. You know what I mean?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"I know exactly what you mean, pet."  
  
"What about you?"  
  
I sighed, pretending to think about my answer.  
  
"I'm from England, which you probably guessed from the accent. Only child. I arrived here, in the City of Angels, in pursuit of a record deal."  
  
She smiled.  
  
"And how's that working out?"  
  
I paused thoughtfully, contemplating how to answer.  
  
"Well, I managed to get the band up and running, as you've probably guessed. And we have an agent coming to listen to us on Friday night."  
  
We chatted through the rest of the dinner, avoiding any intimate topics. It was too early for that.  
  
When I took her home, I walked her to the entrance to her apartment building. She looked up at me.  
  
"Thank you for a lovely evening, Spike," she said softly.  
  
"My pleasure."  
  
She put her hands lightly on my shoulders and kissed me then.  
  
Now, I'd kissed my share of women. Being in a band has that effect sometimes. But I can honestly say that I'd never felt anything as wonderful as the feeling of her lips, warm, moist and pliable, under mine. If it had been a cartoon, little red hearts would have appeared above my head and sparks would have exploded from my ears.  
  
That was the moment that I realized I would marry Buffy Summers if it was the last thing I did.  
  
* * *  
  
The gig on Friday night was amazing, and that's not just me bragging. Buffy wasn't there, though. She had an audition for a commercial for some kind of sun tan lotion.  
  
Angel, Gunn, Wes and I played three songs. Gunn had never done a better job on his drums and Wesley's bass guitar job was at its best. The fact that I'd been pouring my soul into my singing ever since I met Buffy helped too.  
  
The agent, whose name was Giles, was totally blown away. He asked us for a demo tape that he could show to some labels.  
  
But with a label, came hard work, and hard work occupied a great deal of free time.[/i]  
  
Sorry, little one, but that concludes today's Buffy/Spike history lesson. I'd love to hang around in Nostalgiaville, but your mother wants a foot rub, and, as much as I hate to admit it, she's bigger than I am.  
  
Cheers.  
  
~Dad[/b] 


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three  
  
[b]Dear Son,  
  
God, do I love the sound of that. Son.  
  
As you've probably guessed, your mum and I just got back from her six month ultrasound and we found out that you're a boy. I'm going to have a son. Bloody hell, I still can't get over it.  
  
I'm totally ecstatic. So is Buffy, of course, but this is my diary and I'll bloody well write what I want.  
  
We would name you, but apparently its bad luck to pick a name before the seventh month. But, it doesn't make a difference to us. We love you more than life, no matter what your name is.  
  
Anyway, I promised your mum that I'd tell you about the not-so-happy part of our relationship.  
  
[i]Our six month anniversary was coming up, but lately Buffy and I hadn't been seeing a lot of each other. I'd been writing new songs and doing a lot of gigs that Giles got us, and she'd been going to a lot of auditions and shooting a load of commercials.  
  
When Buffy and I did talk, it was almost always brief and always on the telephone. We hadn't been on an actual date in almost a month, aside from a few quick lunches. I sent her flowers once a week, though, to show that I was still thinking about her.  
  
It wasn't enough though.  
  
I took her out to dinner for our anniversary and that night, as we were lying in bed, she said it.  
  
"Spike," Buffy said slowly, pulling away from me, "we need to talk."  
  
I sighed.  
  
"I know, luv. I'm really sorry that we haven't been seeing each other enough."  
  
"I know you are. And I really do love you." Her voice cracked a little, her green eyes averting my gaze.  
  
"I love you, too. Wit hall my heart and soul."  
  
"But it's not enough," she insisted.  
  
It was dark, but I was sure if the lights had been on, she'd have been crying. I couldn't believe it.  
  
"Are you breaking up with me?" I asked, incomprehension filling my blue gaze.  
  
"I'm sorry, Spike. I am so sorry."  
  
"But ."  
  
"But we're both too focused on our careers right now to have a real relationship. It's not fair. Not to you, and not to me."  
  
"Buffy ."  
  
"I'm sorry."[/i]  
  
Sorry to leave you hanging, little one, but duty calls. I'm off to make a midnight run to the store. Apparently, your mother can't live without watermelon-flavored chocolate. Can you even buy that?  
  
~Daddy[/b] 


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four  
  
[b]Dear Bobby/Luke/Mikey,  
  
As you can probably tell, it's now month seven and we've started attempting to decide on a name. We've got it narrowed for to Robert, Lucas or Michael.  
  
Your mother is getting angry with you, because you, you little devil, keep running your fingers along the inside of her tummy and it tickles. She'll just be standing there having a perfectly normal conversation and spontaneously giggle. It's hysterical. The worst part is, you're on the inside, so she can't itch it. She keeps insisting that you get it from me. I take it as a complement.  
  
[i]It had been about a month since Buffy had broken up with me and I was bloody miserable. People had noticed, too.  
  
I was at band practice when the guys sat down at the table I was at. Wes shoved a newspaper into my face.  
  
"Check out the entertainment section," Gunn said.  
  
I rolled my eyes and complied.  
  
A picture of Buffy took up a good portion of the page.  
  
" 'Local actress Buffy Summers has recently gotten the female lead in a new James Cameron film, which is said to debut sometime next year'," I read aloud. " 'Summers will be starring opposite Ben Affleck in the film called 'All work and no play'.'"  
  
I set the paper down on the table.  
  
"That's great. I'm really happy for her," I said, completely aware that I sounded like I was seven years old and my cat had died, but at least he'd gone to heaven.  
  
"Hey, man," Gunn said, "if you miss her that much, you should just go get her."  
  
I sighed pitifully.  
  
"It's not that easy."  
  
"Why not? What are you waiting for?"  
  
"I . I don't know ." I admitted, rubbing my eyes tiredly.  
  
"See?" Angel said. "You think of a way to get her back or I'm making a move."  
  
"You guys are right. But what can I do?"  
  
I was ashamed to admit that I didn't think of it myself.  
  
"Do what you do best. Write her a song. Dumbass."  
  
I glared at him, but inside I was grinning.  
  
Now all I had to do was think of a song. One that would fit Buffy.  
  
That would take some work.[/i]  
  
That's all you get for now. I'm going to cook your mother dinner tonight, so I'd better get started.  
  
~Love Da[/b] 


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five  
  
[b]Dear Lucas Michael Windsor,  
  
You were born today! You're so handsome, too. A right ladies man when you get old enough.  
  
You're six pounds and seven ounces, with a full head of curly brown fair. Your eyes are blue right now, but the doctor says that might change.  
  
It's strange.  
  
I'm watching your mother hold you right now, and you're sleeping so peacefully. It was amazing when you first came our of Buffy. You didn't cry at all. You just looked around at everyone.  
  
Buffy looks so happy right now. Just lying in the bed with you in her arms. She's singing to you. It's a pretty little song that her mum used to sing to her before she died. It's called 'One Tin Soldier.'  
  
I should probably get back to your mum and I, eh?  
  
[i]It had been about four and a half months now since Buffy had broken up with me. Don't get me wrong, I was still bleeding miserable, but now I had purpose. I was busy writing a song that Buffy Summers would know by heart someday. And I wanted it to be perfect.  
  
"Guys," I said to my friends, "what rhymes with 'guitar'?"  
  
After a moment of thought, they answered.  
  
"Black tar," said Angel.  
  
"Crow bar," Gunn suggested, smirking.  
  
"Magmar," Wesley said, frowning. I threw my pad of paper at them.  
  
"I want to woo her, not scare her." I wagged a finger at Wesley. "And I'm sure as hell not using a bloody Pokémon."  
  
Now, while I was working away on this song, I had Giles on a very important assignment.  
  
He was getting us a gig at the wrap party of All Work and No Play.  
  
I had about four more months to finish this song and have the band perfect it before what, in my book, was the most important gig we'd ever play.  
  
* * *  
  
About three weeks later, I had my song finished and was now putting it to music.  
  
I was screwing around with a hand-me-down keyboard in my apartment when I decided to give Buffy a ring.  
  
"Hello?" she greeted when she answered the phone.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Spike?" She sounded confused.  
  
"Yeah, luv. It's me."  
  
"Uh . Wh ." she stuttered. I couldn't help but smile to myself. "Why are you calling me?"  
  
"Come out to dinner with me." She sighed.  
  
"I can't. Everything is crazy with filming. You know that. You're lucky you even caught me at home. I was just on my way out the door."  
  
"Maybe when you're done filming?" I persisted hopefully.  
  
"Maybe, Spike. Maybe."[/i]  
  
I'm afraid I have to go now. Your Aunt Dawn and your godfather, Angel, are badgering me to get in some poncy picture. You better appreciate this when you get older. I do not photograph well.  
  
~Dad[/b] 


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six  
  
[b]Dear Luke,  
  
You're one month old now, and I was spurred to write tonight by my need for you to experience what I'm feeling.  
  
Your mother and I just returned from a very special night. Remember when I told you that Mum was nominated for the Best Actress Oscar for her role in All Work and No Play? Well, tonight she won!  
  
You'll never believe it, but Buffy and I were sitting right next to Ben Affleck, James Cameron and Al Pacino! It was bloody amazing. And when Whoopi Goldberg announced that Buffy Summers-Winsdor had won the Oscar, I think I went deaf in my right ear from the screech your mother let out. And she beat out some amazing people: Demi Moore, Cameron Diaz, Liv Tyler and Alyson Hannigan.  
  
Well, now that I've filled you in on your very successful actress of a mother, I guess I'd better get back to the angsty story of Buffy and Spike, eh?  
  
[i]The band and I were just finishing up our second song at the wrap party when I decided to play my song next.  
  
Buffy was mingling in the crowd, cocktail in hand. She hadn't been looking at me for most of the night. When she first saw what band was playing, her eyes almost fell out of her head. It was right funny.  
  
I'd made sure over months of practice that the band had perfected this particular song, and I have to say that we do play it well.  
  
I leaned closer to the microphone and spoke into it, drawing the attention of almost everyone there.  
  
"This song was written by me especially for one special woman."  
  
Buffy looked up at me, love filling her eyes.  
  
"Buffy Summers, this song is dedicated to you."  
  
As soon as I played the first chord on my guitar, I was certain I had the entire party's attention.  
  
[/b]*I don't need to see you on the television screen I don't want to see your face on Time magazine I know that you are finer than any movie queen I wanna see your face on the pillow next to me I don't care that you ain't been to all the finest schools It's all right by me if you break every golden rule 'Cause you got that body and you know how to use it And I got my guitar so I can make my music  
  
Making love and music Making love and music Making love and music Making love and music Making love Making love Making love Making love  
  
You don't need to think that you need fortune or fame I get so excited when you whisper my name Your sweet love is all it takes to make my fire burn All it takes is music to make my world turn turn Turn on my guitar, that'll turn me on Keep the music playing and let the feeling come You'll be the woman, I'll be the man And we'll make love and music any time we can  
  
Making love and music Making love and music Making love and music Making love and music Making love Making love Making love Making love  
  
Making love and music Making love and music Making love and music Making love and music Making love Making love Making love Making love[b]*[/i]  
  
That was the song I wrote. Making Love and Music. Of course, by now you've heard it. I took you to the recording of Dark Side's first CD. You had a great time there. Most of the time you were napping.  
  
But, right now, you're crying. I better go check your diaper.  
  
~Dad[/b] 


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven  
  
[b]Dear Lucas,  
  
I just thought I'd share one more memory with you before I left. We're about to leave for the party that your mum set up because Dark Side's CD premiered at number one on the charts last week.  
  
Anyway, here you go:  
  
[i]As the music to my song faded and the applause ensued, I took my guitar off, set it on the stage, and hurriedly stepped down to the floor.  
  
Buffy was rushing toward me, tears from some unidentifiable emotion streaming down her cheeks.  
  
I caught her in my arms in a tight embrace, squeezing my eyes shut as I breathed in the exotic scent of her perfume.  
  
"Spike, I love you ." she whispered.  
  
"I know. I love you. So much." I kissed her quickly on the lips. "Marry me, Buffy. Marry me."  
  
She looked deeply into my eyes, happiness and love consuming her soul and radiating from her skin.  
  
"Yes. Yes, Spike, I'll marry you."  
  
The last thing I remember about that night is a loud whistle from Angel, followed by a jazzy electric guitar version of Here Comes the Bride.[/i]  
  
Oh, hey. Did I forget to mention? Your eyes are grey now. God knows how that happened .  
  
~Love Daddy[/b]  
  
* * *  
  
Spike entered the hall with his arm resting lightly on Buffy's waist, Luke in his other arm.  
  
People were everywhere, chatting excitedly about Dark Side's hit song Making Love and Music.  
  
"Hey, Spike, man," Angel greeted, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. "Check it out. We are Gods." Spike laughed.  
  
"Yeah, pretty cool."  
  
Angel turned to Luke, who currently had his fingers stuffed into his mouth.  
  
"Hey, Luke. How's it goin' with the ladies?"  
  
Luke gurgled in response and Buffy grinned and affectionately scratched his head.  
  
"You do realize we're going to go platinum, right?" Gunn asked as he and Wesley joined them.  
  
"Of course. That's a given," Wes agreed.  
  
The evening was relatively uneventful. Spike and the guys were forced to make a short speech by Giles and their music video for Making Love and Music debuted. The rest of the night was spent making the rounds of talking to all the right people.  
  
Just after the music video played on the Jumbo Screen, Buffy tapped Spike lightly on the shoulder.  
  
"I'm not feeling too well, hun," she admitted. Spike frowned in husbandly concern.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I think those hors d'ourves just didn't agree with me. I'm gonna head home, alright?" He kissed her lightly.  
  
"Yeah, of course. I'll keep Luke here with me."  
  
"Okay. I'm going to take a taxi."  
  
She handed Spike the car keys, before kissing him once more.  
  
"See you when I get home." 


	8. Chapter Eight: Buffy

Chapter Eight: Buffy  
  
[b]Dear Lukie,  
  
It's Mommy. I'm writing this to explain something to you to the best of my ability.  
  
Last night there was a horrible accident.  
  
When Daddy was getting into his car after the party, her was trying to unlock the door to the car, but he was having a tough time with it because his arms were full.  
  
Just as he was getting the door unlocked, a drunk driver came flying out of nowhere and hit him. He's not okay, Lukie.  
  
Last night, Daddy died.  
  
I want you to know that, no matter what, I still love you and Daddy very much.  
  
I've had to take the phone off the hook because reporters keep calling. Daddy was so famous, you know. He made a lot of people very happy, especially me.  
  
I feel lost, Lukie. I don't know what I'm going to do. It's as if I don't have purpose anymore. Like my life doesn't have meaning.  
  
I wish I could say that I'm doing well and I'll be alright. But I'm sure I won't. I can never be alright. Not ever again.  
  
I loved your daddy more than life itself.  
  
Lukie, honey, Daddy's arms were full because he was carrying you.  
  
You died last night.  
  
My little baby .  
  
And now you're gone.  
  
You and Daddy.  
  
I don't think I can live anymore. Everything in the world I ever wanted has been viciously ripped from my grasp by some asshole who had too much to drink.  
  
And now I'll never get to watch you grow up.  
  
Daddy and I will never get to embarrass you at your graduation.  
  
Tell me what to do, Lukie.  
  
Just tell me what to do.  
  
~Love Forever  
Mommy 


End file.
